Performance Anxiety..........

No not that kind, let's have a little decorum.  Is anyone else suffering from Christmas performance anxiety?

I haven't sent any Christmas cards - which means my friends, relatives and, crucially, the other school mums (!) will KNOW how disorganised I am.  I don't mean the school gate comrades-in-arms, who know full well how far fallen apart we are this end of term.  I mean the other people who only know The Boy as a name on the class list - will they think that I am lazy, ungrateful for their child's patiently scrawled signature, or will they simply think I am a miserable misanthrope/Scrooge?? (The Firstborn writes her own cards, sorted).

Dear reader, be not alarmed.  I gave into this moment of panic for about 5 seconds before reflecting that life is simply too short to live by Keeping Up Appearances!  (You may one day find that you are in the shops in your slippers.  And pajama bottoms. In my book that does officially count as Letting Yourself Go unless you've been up till 5am with a high-powered post corporate takeover celebratory drink/vomiting three year old, and if you have any child in your house under 12 months just feel free!).

I have not made my own Christmas cake, or Christmas pudding, and the beautiful red satin ribbons hanging up in the house have Christmas cards pinned to them in a tasteful display - cards from several years ago! And I feel..........maverick, reckless......................possibly turning into Mel Gibson in the Lethal Weapon movies.....

But I know where the Christmas performance anxiety comes from -  the wonderfully idyllic version of Christmas that I remember from my own childhood! I have now come to appreciate that creating that level of Christmas wonderfulness is bloody hard work! So well done to my mother who seemed to be able to create a level of Christmas represented in the annual Good Housekeeping feature article!

I have something to aspire to - but think that I need to start with realistic expectations based on my current ability level...............so I have hung some chocolates on the tree, and think I'll just have a quick sherry. (What, it's festive?)

(In case you were wondering, our Christmas lunch this year will be............at Granny's house!)