Work Do Part Two....

After accompanying Mr Life After Law to his work Christmas do, I ventured forth in the snow and ice earlier this week to meet my own former colleagues from the Firm and celebrate Christmas with them.  A rather smaller affair - the team rather than the Big Bash, but really lovely.

I realised that the standard Christmas menu must drive chefs mad; We The People obviously like what we know at Christmas. Basically seafood or pate, chicken, salmon or turkey, Christmas pudding or something with chocolate! I have to say, it was delicious.  

I met some new members of the team (who knew of my name, slightly worrying) and I was asked two of the Top Five Questions (what do you do -at the Firm? -answer "nothing" cue mildly amusing confusion, when are you coming back? - Gallic shrug). It was good to catch up.

I do feel lucky - I've managed to step through a new door of opportunity (the opportunity to do what feels like a lot more manual labour and not get paid) as full time mum, but the Firm haven't slammed their doors in my face - and whether or not I am ever ready to go back or they actually want or need me at that point, it is a great compliment that they haven't written me off (yet).  

Will 2011 hold a return to the Law? After the stresses of this term, I think it unlikely, but ask me in January when I've recovered a bit more!

Now, is it safe to let stir-crazy children trampoline in the snow................................??

The Work Christmas Do........

Dear Reader, self and Mr Life After Law headed off eagerly to Mr LAL's work Christmas "Do" at a local spa hotel - nice meal and overnight stay (very exciting as it was the first time we'd left the progeny overnight since...........ever!).

Apart from mutually agreeing that it is lovely - if new and unusual - to spend time together without our beloved kidlets we also agreed that we felt a bit out of touch with "partying" (and that we were suprised that Band Aid wasn't played).

Food, drink, colleagues all very pleasant and Mr LAL gave a bravura display of dancing to some Blues Brothers favorites, some Madness and some dance classics circa 1994 - which I and many of his colleagues very much enjoyed. But why, I mused, did we feel a little bit out of our natural element (despite plenty of party experience pre children)?

Probably because :-
(a) we are getting a bit old;
(b) sleep deprivation does affect your ability to stay up late (!); and
(b) we don't need to let off steam so much because we aren't as stressed by our current full time roles  - because Life After Law works for us (fortunately!)

Now, anyone got "Band Aid: Feed the World" on their iTunes......?

Performance Anxiety..........

No not that kind, let's have a little decorum.  Is anyone else suffering from Christmas performance anxiety?

I haven't sent any Christmas cards - which means my friends, relatives and, crucially, the other school mums (!) will KNOW how disorganised I am.  I don't mean the school gate comrades-in-arms, who know full well how far fallen apart we are this end of term.  I mean the other people who only know The Boy as a name on the class list - will they think that I am lazy, ungrateful for their child's patiently scrawled signature, or will they simply think I am a miserable misanthrope/Scrooge?? (The Firstborn writes her own cards, sorted).

Dear reader, be not alarmed.  I gave into this moment of panic for about 5 seconds before reflecting that life is simply too short to live by Keeping Up Appearances!  (You may one day find that you are in the shops in your slippers.  And pajama bottoms. In my book that does officially count as Letting Yourself Go unless you've been up till 5am with a high-powered post corporate takeover celebratory drink/vomiting three year old, and if you have any child in your house under 12 months just feel free!).

I have not made my own Christmas cake, or Christmas pudding, and the beautiful red satin ribbons hanging up in the house have Christmas cards pinned to them in a tasteful display - cards from several years ago! And I feel..........maverick, reckless......................possibly turning into Mel Gibson in the Lethal Weapon movies.....

But I know where the Christmas performance anxiety comes from -  the wonderfully idyllic version of Christmas that I remember from my own childhood! I have now come to appreciate that creating that level of Christmas wonderfulness is bloody hard work! So well done to my mother who seemed to be able to create a level of Christmas represented in the annual Good Housekeeping feature article!

I have something to aspire to - but think that I need to start with realistic expectations based on my current ability level...............so I have hung some chocolates on the tree, and think I'll just have a quick sherry. (What, it's festive?)

(In case you were wondering, our Christmas lunch this year will be............at Granny's house!)

Tis the season to be...........

what?  How will you end that sentence:- jolly, excited, depressed, knackered, nervous, joyful?

The Christmas season offers plenty of opportunities to "spot the difference" between Life After Law and life before the Great Escape.  Or, actually, perhaps that should be "plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose"??

The feverish hunt for a funny "Secret Santa" gift for a colleague who's reaction to a mug saying "you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps" is unpredictable (with a price limit of £5 per head) translates to the search for the perfect gift for teachers whose commitment and support brings tears to your eyes (or is that just me) - again limited by the severe lack of cash that "not working" (!) involves.

The terrible desperation involved in trying to get that tricky document drafted for the demanding client who wants to sign on 24th December translates to the scramble to get the stocking fillers organised and wrapped (and then remember where they are).

The silent bloodless battles, of Machiavellian cunning and ruthlessness and the tactical skill of an ancient Chinese warlord, to get the coveted time off in between Christmas and New Year (before the colleague who always books it first. In July!) translates to the "whose turn is it" grandparent dilemma, actually I'm lying - I'm blessed with almost suspiciously wonderful parents and parents-in-law and have never had to employ any Machiavellian cunning in this area!

So it sounds like actually what I am comparing is life with kids versus life in the law however there was a time when I tried to do both - and then, eventually, the Wheels truly and in every sense Came Off The Bus - they did not go round and round! (Don't worry, reader, no straight-jacket involved, but quite a lot of chocolate).

I think the truth is that the festive season carries its own extra work for all of you out there whatever you are doing - and I hope that we all manage to actually enjoy it! Of course that's where Life After Law for me is great - Mr Life After Law doesn't work over the holiday season so we all get to spend a whole two weeks at home together when the working world doesn't carry on without us with post piling up til we get back and we can really relax together.  And I am thankful every year for that - second year of Life After Law for me (seventh for Mr LAL) and it's great.

Now, has anyone got any sherry? (What, it's Christmassy)

The Top Five: Questions about giving it all up .....continued....a bit more

Well how you must all (at least two of you following now) have missed me since the last thrilling installment! Be not afraid, I bring you good tidings of...........well, rambling on, really.

OK so let's just get the last two of the Top Five over with:- (for those who missed what they were - go back and read blog one!!! - Oh, ok or the recap below.........)

4. I bet you miss the money don't you - solicitors earn a fortune don't they?
5. So what are you going to do NOW?

The money question - well firstly solicitors really don't all earn a fortune (I promise), not if you don't have ownership of a big slice of the business and a correspondingly big risk of losing your house if the business bites the dust. As to missing the money - not that big a shock having already gone through Mr Life After Law's Great Escape, and two lots of impecunious maternity leave.  But mainly we wouldn't swap the money for the positive impact on family life of having me be devoted to one career instead of two.

and finally.............................................

So what am I going to do now????

Well, right now, I'm going to make the evening meal, check there isn't anything terrible lurking in the school book bags - homework, apple core, uniform (lightly or heavily soiled), make sure I have the fundamentals for a packed lunch tomorrow that isn't crisps and cheerios, contemplate starting wrapping Christmas presents, give up contemplating wrapping and contemplate starting a bottle of wine..............you get the drift.

Dull, mundane, predictable - well yes, to a certain extent, but glorious in it's way nonetheless (in a monastic, "tend the vegetable garden and scrub monastery floors in service of a greater Truth and Beauty" sort of way) These days I don't have to know what is happening beyond the next meal or school run, really (concert/performance preparation aside but that keeps me sane!) and that is quite relaxing..........it makes up for the total unpredictability that comes with our particular parenting package, but that's another tale.

Once more unto the breach. Or something. (Anyone got a corkscrew?)

The Top Five: Questions about giving it all up .....continued....

Good evening dear reader, you are no doubt agog to know the answers to the rest of the questions people ask about giving up a career in law.........assuming that you made it through the previous blog's ramblings without slipping into a boredom induced coma or turning to drink!

3. So when are you going back? No idea!! The thing about life with small children is that it presents constant opportunities for spontaneity but very little chance to plan reliably too far ahead.........

to blunder off at a tangent - you won't find me talking in great specific detail about the kids in this blog because (a) I have a friend who blogs about family life brilliantly and I'd rather read hers than write on the same topic and (b) hopefully there are other people out there considering a change of career and wondering how that might change their sense of self, how their identity will be affected, how to avoid watching Jeremy Kyle all day - and they may or may not have kids, but a lot of the issues will be similar...............

A big part of the "so when are you going back" is related to the children - their needs trump everything else - but there are lots of other issues.   Will The Firm (my most recent employer) want me - I'm a bit old and specialized and therefore a little bit more expensive to employ and probably stuck in my ways! What happens, when the time comes and there is a chance to go back, if I find that I don't have the heart or stomach (or, to be fair, any other organ) for the law anymore?

I started on my glittering career as a naive 17 year old contemplating what degree to do and decided that, being a bit squeamish for medicine, law looked interesting.  I enjoyed studying law, I even enjoyed the notorious year of Solicitor's exams, and the pre-qualification training I received at a Northern firm was endlessly engaging and enjoyable.  Most of my years in practice, and certainly the most recent at The Firm, have been very happy - I'm naturally talkative and nosey ("interested in people") - so a very people oriented area of law (not crime) has suited me well............but I don't know how I feel about it right now, mainly because I don't think about it.

Anyway - the other part of the answer to 3. is that I am not-at-all-secretly hoping I will somehow have a career as an opera singer so perhaps I'll wait a bit in case I get "spotted".....

The Top Five: Questions people ask you when you give it all up..........

1.  So do you miss it?
2. What do you DO all day?
3. So when are you going back?
4. I bet you miss the money, don't you (solicitors earn a fortune don't they)?
5. So what are you going to do NOW?

Well, reader (I assume I might have at least one, even if it is only the one I am married to), let me start my no doubt soon to be illustrious blog career by answering 1. and 2. - which sort of go together........

Firstly : Do I miss it? - In a word NO - not as such (sorry beloved former colleagues).  I miss the specific people, but I certainly don't lack for intellectual challenge and stimulation, nor (now both my small children are at school) for time sitting down in peace and quiet..............actually that isn't true because:

Secondly: What do I DO all day? (A question which Mr Life After Law - another successful Law escapee - does ask from time to time when feeling brave) - you have got to be kidding me!! The school day which I fondly imagined was going to allow endless time for making bread by hand and wafting about reading poetry flashes past before you can say "I've just got to nip out".  Life has a different rhythm and it all revolves around one central Commandment: I must NEVER EVER fail to be at the school gate on time - which is 6 hours after I was last there.  I volunteer at the school, I have a new and wonderful singing teacher, I support (and am supported by) other people in my life who don't have fixed PAYE related engagements in the day (and some who do) - but mostly and through and through I am Mummy - even when the children are not here I am, like one slightly scruffy clapped out fire engine, on call - I'm in the engine shed waiting for the bell to ring and while I do that I am doing essential maintenance - to the house, to my sanity etc etc.

All this might be very boring to the readers out there in the blogosphere - fair do's : sometimes it bores me! However it might encourage some of you to know that there is life after a big career change - I make no bones about it, I have a job, a full time job and it is my vocational career.  Noone pays me and it involves a lot of poo (literally unfortunately) but it is rewarding challenging and intriguing.   I struggled to make the choice to adopt my new career but I have never regretted it!

Next time - on to the rest of the top five..........unless the readers have other questions that simply must be answered (like, how if I say I am so busy can I possibly have time to rant on like this??)

Life After Law - It's out there!!