The roar of the greasepaint...

Dear Reader,

It's that time again when I enjoy immersing myself in the turbulent waters of stage & singing until only my nostrils remain visible above the surface and my children start to invert their usual behavior patterns by pushing past me to ask Mr Life After Law to fulfil their every despotic whim.

Yes: SHOW TIME! Which means I have been imagining that I am actually in the Biz for real by swanning about during the day "resting" (ie ignoring the -to me- unacceptable level of misfiling of kitchen utensils and bedroom floor clothes hanging) so that I have all my faculties about me each evening when I transport myself to another time and place and wear an improbably large wig while singing about love interests swapped at birth.....I am, however, assured by Actual Proper Singers that the swanning about all day is not a luxury available to those who do earn their crust by singing for their suppers!

Mr Life After Law is now officially and permanently to be known as World's Best Husband for parental fortitude above and beyond the call of duty.  Due to a slightly longer than usual commute to the theatre, WBH has been engaging the enemy (Operation Bedtime) on land, sea and in the air - battle-weary yet triumphant he and the children have emerged into the pale light of a new entente cordiale in which I promise not to go off singing at bedtime for a little bit.

Usually the end of show week is marked by a terrible case of post-show blues, which in its most severe manifestation led, recently, to the creation of Random Opera Company by friend and fellow blogger baritone, Richard Jones - I may have egged him on every so slightly.

However, this year, thanks to the promise/threat of future engagements and the learning of repertoire required,  I'm not feeling too much like the fun is all over.  Time to banish the old from my brain and embrace the new, which thanks to the ready availability of recordings I can start in the length of time it takes to say "one click ordering"......so here we go.Handel, and Mozart and Bizet, Oh My!

Ten Year Goggles......

Now as the sort of person who likes to plan IN DETAIL for the short, medium and long term, I've been learning recently that letting go of those sort of planning paroxysms is healthy, liberating - in fact necessary.  I can get so caught up in The Plan that I forget to enjoy the moment, miss slightly unexpected opportunities and feel anxious when the plans go awry!

Of course I had an excellent "ten year plan" as a student: Law degree (check), Solicitors exams (check), training contract (check) - so far so good, six years accounted for.  This tied in with my life plans - marriage at 25 (check), children (check, two by age 30 - one of each, extra symmetry!).

And really that is where the planning paralysis set in.  Having children is such a leap into the unexpected for all parents, let alone when autism is part of the package. Adapting to today requires a certain amount of taking your beady eye off tomorrow .  My faith helps me do this, but my old habits of agonising about next year, three years, ten years etc are hard to break and if I don't stamp down on those thoughts, I know I am heading for a dizzying, relentless turbine of anxiety-generation. (Gaviscon anyone).

In addition it's easy when you are faced with challenging circumstances to become defined by overcoming them.  At times like that you need perspective, and to push the horizon back out again to include all the wonderful opportunities that are still available to you and the unexpected triumphs, pleasures and diversions that await you. And this, in turn, enables you to enjoy all the rewards and pleasures that are already in your day to day with you but that you have started to overlook.  The joy of life with small children, and of their wonder at the world (combined with their brutal honesty......). Sometimes looking at the bigger picture enables you to rediscover some of the smaller detail!  To allow yourself to just stop and smell the roses (or, as the case may be, blow bubbles)

And so, recently, someone told me to put my "ten year goggles" back on!(*)  To contemplate and look at the bigger picture, including the stuff that could be down the line in my future, including the domesticity that is currently an overwhelming part of my job description, but not solely restricted to that.  Self-expression, personal growth, fulfilment, achievement and, yes, singing.  I love it and it is a key stress management, brain training exercise as well as a huge part of how I express my faith too.

I am and will always be mummy, but I am also and will always be......me.  I don't lose myself in parenting or in dealing with autism, I bring myself to all of those situations, but it has taken a little bit of perspective to rediscover that truth.

So thank you, wise friend, for reminding me to continue to be me as well as being mummy.

I'm off to blow bubbles on the trampoline.

(PS: in my head ten-year goggles look exactly like a WW2 flying helmet & goggles - Mr LAL's influence you see, all is history)

(*) and also to get hold of a cheap tea-set - equally valuable advice.

Talking of Gilbert & Sullivan........

Which I sort of did in my "Sleep-wrecked" post...........see what I did there! I'm now in the exciting final few rehearsals phase of preparing to tread the boards in a production of a Gilbert & Sullivan Operetta.

*DISCLAIMER: I am not actually a G&S expert, I just like it and read Wikipedia a lot...........*

Now, if you aren't familiar with the work of that awesome duo, well they go together like strawberries and cream, gin and tonic, Reeves and Murtagh..............I digress.  Together they wrote the words and music for an impressive number of well-loved and popular operettas (like opera but with less anguished dying). If you like them you can go to any of their shows secure in the knowledge that there will be:

• the tum-ti-tum-ti tum one
• the tiddle tiddle tiddle one
• a patter song (loads of words, delivered very quickly, an impressive feat of diction and memory)
• the romantic songs - ranging from fa la la sad-ish madrigals to real "just one cornetto" feats of tenor virtuosity and almost Queen of the Night coloratura (ie soprano showing off).

And they are brilliant and funny!

The singing will be good- no company can get through a production without being able to sing pretty well, plus most of the people who love performing G&S really know their stuff (it's a drug that gets into your veins and you just can't stop doing it! Before you know it you are on your fifth revival of Pirates!)

Now don't get me wrong, I don't mean to imply that there is no variety, on the contrary Gilbert & Sullivan seem to use a well-tried "if it ain't broke" formula, but they tackle a huge range of issues with wit and scathing satire - class distinction, politics, gender divides you name it - using clever word-play and ingenious composition.  I'm a fan as you can tell.

I'm playing the romantic lead who is rather shallow and vain (insert own joke)  to start with.  However she does of course (*PLOT SPOILER*) end up marrying her true love after some hilarious misunderstandings, cases of mistaken identity, lover's quarrels, lovers getting engaged to other people, threats of death etc and ultimately reconciling in some rather beautiful duetting.

My love of G&S predates my love of and parting from the Law, and predates my love for Mr LAL.  My long missed grandad was a great fan, and would have been very pleased to see G&S being kept alive on stages all over the world at every standard - from village hall amateurs to Opera House professionals.

There's a huge amount of musical snobbery about G&S by some - ignore it!!  Go on, find some G&S near you - ENO are doing The Mikado, and various companies of all shapes sizes sounds and stages are throwing themselves with gusto into those rousing Finales all round the world.  What's the worst that could happen...........well, as it's G&S: a gaggle of fairies cast a spell on you, you are to be beheaded, clapped in irons, marry a woman old enough to be your mother, forced to be a joint king and possible bigamist, demoted from ship's captain to foremast hand..........but don't let that put you off!

Right, I'm off to a rehearsal (with costumes today!) - tiddle pom tiddle pom fa la la la.........

Enjoy............

Don't put your daughter on the stage........

My mother fondly recalls the incident when I, much impressed by a Church Nativity, ran up the aisle and stood at the front adopting the "Angel Gabriel" pose - aged about 3.  You might think, then, that my current obsession with and not-at-all-secret fantasy about becoming a professional opera singer is not that surprising.

In fact, I am discovering that I am actually a bit shy about really being myself with people (on stage or off), and that I resort to humor instead (I realise that I am now just inviting sarcasm from those of you who know me plus abuse of the "Oh, you were trying to be funny" variety!) not to mention a healthy dose of pretending I'm fine, whether I am or not!

But I'm learning that in the context of performing and singing you just have to let go and let it all out!  And actually it is a bit of a revelation - liberating (terrifying). I am now finding that I can't really sing if I am bottling anything up - it just takes the stopper off the bottle! And that is great.  Parenting and marriage both provide plenty of opportunities for simmering (should only be done with food), brewing (ditto alchohol) and festering (just should never be done), and I say that in what I call a happy home (and so would Mr Life After Law - well, he'd better...........) let alone facing anything out of the ordinary (well, not tooooooo far out).

I didn't sing as much while I was a Lawyer but I can heartily recommend it as an ideal stress-buster whatever you are doing with your life.

Which is why, whether I ever make it onto the stage at La Scala (why is my phone not ringing) I will keep singing and I will keep loving every note - and you can too! Whether you sing in the shower or at Sydney Opera House (again, no phone calls) just let it all out and enjoy it.

As for my progeny, I have two budding singers on my hands one of whom can do a terrifyingly accurate American accent (thanks to High School Musical, High School Musical 2 and High School Musical 3).

For my children the mystery of theatre is no longer a mystery:-

"Mummy, I think that lady with the pink hair (panto dame) is really a man in a dress".......
"Mummy when there was that big splashing noise (actor thrown "overboard")  is it really the sea because I don't think it would fit"
and finally: "Mummy, when you were supposed to be all dead and a ghost, I think you should have had your face more white because you didn't look dead enough!" (the younger, by the way, commented "Oh NO, what's happened you face??"

Don't put your daughter (or of course, as the case may be, son) on the stage? Well I don't know, but I hope they'll both discover the joy of singing for themselves and I hope you do too!

La la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............................