Taken down in evidence....2012 resolutions

At the start of this year I began a draft blog post about my resolutions for the year.  As we are somewhat past the halfway point I found it quite illuminating to reflect on them:

"I have always found the idea of a fresh new start, a clean slate, those optimistic rose tinted resolutions very beguiling! I usually set myself some pleasingly sweeping and unrealistic targets, which I then have to re-examine after, on average, two weeks.
So this year, what should I resolve on now that I am definitely Not A Lawyer........I don't have career goals in the way that I used to.  But then, really is the way that I approach life so very different these days? No.  I still have aspirations, goals, targets, and HUGE areas for improvement!!
I'd like to tackle the impertinent weeds growing up through my previously attractive gravel patch in the garden.  It currently looks like a disheveled and unloved scruff in need of a haircut."

And that was it.

I can confirm (smugly) that I have tackled the weeds.  But why didn't I record any other major aspirations or tricky little targets? Didn't I have any? Perhaps I ran out of time to write them down.

Well I don't think that was it - and of course I did and do have aspirations.  This just over half a year has been pretty satisfying from an achievement point of view.  I've enjoyed singing in a run of The Gondoliers, and expanded my operatic concert repertoire.  I even sang my first proper opera role (Frasquita in Carmen) just this month.  And I felt like I'd climbed Everest (and, admittedly, as if I had been hit by a train).

On the parenting and autism front we've been on autism parent training, successfully made & implemented MAJOR decisions about The Boy's education and have some other exciting news which I could talk about but I'd have to swear you all to secrecy! (NO, not a bun in the oven). And our beautiful daughter is now getting some support as a sibling of SEN and she and I are having a blast spending girls-only time together (she made me ride the Sonic Spinball rollercoaster at Alton Towers and I threw up in my mouth a little bit.  Good times).

But why didn't I record any other goals or resolutions?

Well, I think probably because if there was any one motto that typifies this year it would be (say it with me) "one day at a time" - if you want to get King James on it "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof".

I don't know what each day will hold.  But I know I can get through it and I usually have strategies these days of how that is going to happen.  And that will do for me.  For now. 

(But I want to sing Susanna in the Marriage of Figaro in the next year or two, so there!)

Sleep-wrecked

Urgh.  My beautiful firstborn has had a horrible disturbed night in pain, cutting a molar, which has involved nighttime vigils by mummy, who at such times is the source of all consolation.  And I feel utterly sleep-wrecked, after only one night.

I now feel that were someone to interrogate me (for some improbable and far fetched reason involving a Gilbert & Sullivan standard case of mistaken identity) I would pretty much crack if they looked a bit cross or said I couldn't have a cup of tea.

Tactic:  batten down the hatches, keep everything as calm as possible and pick my battles with the children & Mr LAL (ie, none) until recovery sets in.  Oh, and a lot of tea. And Carbs.

We got away with the whole sleep issue very lightly and it was really only a problem during the standard night feeding months -but now after just one night of it I really can't imagine how we ever coped with the broken nights (mind you, based on photographic evidence, it wasn't pretty).

But then I looked back further to life B.E.  (before escape) - in fact B.C (before children).  Self and Mr Life After Law lived and worked at big firms and were surrounded by the play-hard-work-hard culture (which translates roughly as long hours of deals or whatever going on right into the night followed by celebratory drinks and back to churning out highly specialised expert advice the next day with no drop in quality - not, I have to admit, that this particularly suited either of us).

So is there some magic secret to surviving on not-very-much-sleep-at-all? (NOT illegal substances, thank you, settle down at the back) Other than a dependence on caffeine that sees you twitching if you haven't had four espresso by 11?  Clearly adrenaline (and in some cases, pure testosterone) has a lot to answer for - but how long can anyone sustain life at that pitch?

I and Mr LAL are lucky that our sleep-deprivation torture was only ever fairly time limited (18 months at a time) and we've found some of the things that help sooth the sleep-wrecked zombie in every parent!
(insert own Julie Andrews soundtrack if this list isn't already cheesy enough):
the children's delight in anything - it's the way they laugh;
the smell of salty sea air on a warm breeze (particularly if there is the chance of an icecream/cold white wine spritzer);
the sound of leather on willow in the sunshine (cricket, you dirty blighters) ditto the white wine spritzer;
sofa time in front of a real fire; and
singing with an orchestra (with permission, not by sneaking in - and this is obviously me as it would bring Mr LAL so far away from the point of relaxation as to threaten a heart attack)

Simple pleasures, and by and large not hard to find or pay for!

So basically this can be summed up as :
(1)  That I remember Life In Law as really quite hard work some of the time;
(2) I like holidays; and
(3) I am reminded, yet again, by one sleepless night (!)  that I really don't think another baby would be sensible!