Life After Law: Exit Complete.

Well, gentle reader, this is it.  I have received my P45 from The Firm.

(For the benefit of any readers not in the UK, the P45 is a short, yet illuminating document comprising a salary and tax "season roundup" - played 15, won 10, lost 3, drew 2)

Eventually, and after a period of grace during which The Firm gallantly refrained from mentioning the "W" word, I came to the point of having a talk with The Firm's very supportive and understanding head of HR.  We talked about the reality of how life works these days and how the needs and requirements of our family exist alongside the business needs of a commercial employer.  Which is to say that they don't.

The best thing for us is for me to be mummy.  Just mummy.  I mean this as a job description, not as a cry for help of the "I'm losing my identity" variety.  I have found that I have rediscovered that I am "me" and that, perhaps surprisingly, that inner self isn't defined by being mummy etc but that I bring that inner self to bear on everything I do. This has been quite cheering, actually.

So the upshot of me focusing on one employer (read previous blogs about inhumane and despotic management style of most children compared to most Law Firms) not two is that: We don't need to worry about trying to find the right after school childcare solution that provides one to one support for the Boy, or about how stressful it would be for him to have last minute stand ins (friends, relatives) if he is ill, or there is teacher training, or a strike, or about beautiful daughter losing out on mummy time even more..................and on those hideous leave-you-limp-as-lettuce days which most parents of children with autism will recognize, I can, if I need to, return home after the school run and sit and cry for 40 minutes or so after which I have a cup of tea and gather myself back together. Which causes consternation in your average office.

So now we are back(with a vengeance) to the Top Five questions about giving it all up.

In summary:
1. So do you miss it?
2. What do you DO all day?
3. So when are you going back?
4. I bet you miss the money, don't you (solicitors earn a fortune don't they)?
5. So what are you going to do NOW?

Seems as good a time as any to reconsider. Thusly:
1. No
2. Space restricts answer, read blog posts.
3. Maybe never, no time soon.
4. We're cash poor, time rich.  Have started growing veg. May send children chimney sweeping.
5......................................................................................watch this space.  Right now, have a cuppa. (No crying)

"for riches and rank I do not long"..........

Does money make the world go round? Should it? Well, probably, but in my view and according to several religions, it shouldn't.  Short Blog. (You'll be lucky). Of course at a macro-level money really does keep the world spinning, dictating the relationship of nation to nation and the balance of power across the globe.

There is no sphere immune to the impact of the gravitational pull of money or lack thereof on their orbit - it will be a terrible thing when financial cuts impact the arts even further - museums, libraries, opera companies, orchestras....we need them, but they need money.  Isn't our ability to transcend ourselves and be moved by music, words, images & sounds something that makes life worthwhile and separates us from our very close mammal neighbours?? However, my musings aloud on this topic prompted Mr LAL to deliver an impromptu lecture on market economies, capitalism versus socialism and indeed economic history (I think I lost consciousness about the industrial revolution) - among his undergraduate degrees is history & economic history and he routinely reads for fun (including on honeymoon) textbooks more suited to your average phd reading list........I digress, he's brilliant QED.

Of course I am totally unqualified to comment on the arts, economics, history, in fact most things except for my own specialised area of law (the knowledge of which is, naturally, fading).

But what about my new "job" - Housewife - cook, cleaner, factotum and, crucially, budget manager.  You may remember that one of my Top Five (questions people asked me when I Gave It All Up) was about The Money.  Do we miss it, how do we cope etc etc.  Well of course it is sooo vulgar to talk about money but, as lots of people will be in the same situation we are, lets.

Well (a) we'd already "salary downsized" through a combination of smaller firms, maternity leave, career changes (Mr LAL) before I gave up wages (they're a dirty habit).  But, and more importantly, (b) the money nowhere near made up for the strain and fallout of The Juggling -it's not pretty.

The initial draft of this blog was much longer but even I lost the will to keep reading.  So the summary is:-

1. We are b****y lucky to be able to just about keep our heads above water on one salary, so I'm just thankful for that;
2. There are lots of tricks for making the money stretch further - online grocery shopping, a full disclosure policy on any spending (after a brief "Amazon One-click account" amnesty), recycling and buying "vintage" (sounds better doesn't it), seeing holidays as a luxury not a privilege, but you can get a week's pitch on a campsite quite cheaply, agreeing not to swap Christmas presents with everyone I ever met who has a child, making presents for loved ones, grow veg at home if you can etc etc etc and I do now have time to try all these tips;
3. There's always someone worse off than you, comparing yourself with them makes you feel guilty for being stressed about your own situation.  There's always someone better off than you - comparing yourself with them makes you want things you can't have.  Therefore just getting on with it is easier;
4. Keep your mind open to unexpected possibilities to improve the financial status quo and don't be too proud to accept help or take an unusual tack (a story for another day).
5. Don't give up on beautiful, uplifting experiences, just get smart about how to access them (Royal Opera House tickets for £7.50 each anyone!)
6. One thing I don't do is play the National Lottery.  I used to, I don't now.  More on that another time.
7. Finally, work as a team.  He earns, I don't, but we are in it together.  The times when we struggle most are the times when we forget that.  

May the force be with you. Now, baked beans for tea anyone...........................