Well, gentle reader, this is it. I have received my P45 from The Firm.
(For the benefit of any readers not in the UK, the P45 is a short, yet illuminating document comprising a salary and tax "season roundup" - played 15, won 10, lost 3, drew 2)
Eventually, and after a period of grace during which The Firm gallantly refrained from mentioning the "W" word, I came to the point of having a talk with The Firm's very supportive and understanding head of HR. We talked about the reality of how life works these days and how the needs and requirements of our family exist alongside the business needs of a commercial employer. Which is to say that they don't.
The best thing for us is for me to be mummy. Just mummy. I mean this as a job description, not as a cry for help of the "I'm losing my identity" variety. I have found that I have rediscovered that I am "me" and that, perhaps surprisingly, that inner self isn't defined by being mummy etc but that I bring that inner self to bear on everything I do. This has been quite cheering, actually.
So the upshot of me focusing on one employer (read previous blogs about inhumane and despotic management style of most children compared to most Law Firms) not two is that: We don't need to worry about trying to find the right after school childcare solution that provides one to one support for the Boy, or about how stressful it would be for him to have last minute stand ins (friends, relatives) if he is ill, or there is teacher training, or a strike, or about beautiful daughter losing out on mummy time even more..................and on those hideous leave-you-limp-as-lettuce days which most parents of children with autism will recognize, I can, if I need to, return home after the school run and sit and cry for 40 minutes or so after which I have a cup of tea and gather myself back together. Which causes consternation in your average office.
So now we are back(with a vengeance) to the Top Five questions about giving it all up.
In summary:
1. So do you miss it?
2. What do you DO all day?
3. So when are you going back?
4. I bet you miss the money, don't you (solicitors earn a fortune don't they)?
5. So what are you going to do NOW?
Seems as good a time as any to reconsider. Thusly:
1. No
2. Space restricts answer, read blog posts.
3. Maybe never, no time soon.
4. We're cash poor, time rich. Have started growing veg. May send children chimney sweeping.
5......................................................................................watch this space. Right now, have a cuppa. (No crying)
